Synthetic: Making a Connection

The self-reflective process has now come to an end and now it is time to make a connection of all three selves, past, present, and future. All three of these phases are all connected in ways I have never thought of before. This was such a neat project and it is so fascinating how my past self and present self are connected and how I picture myself in the future is connected with both past and present me. There is certain aspect about myself that I see in all three selves and that is my determination.

In my past self, I see that I was a very competitive kid. I was a kid that would not let anyone just win and I would have to challenge them a bit, and even challenge myself to beat them. In my case, I see that having this trait has been good for me. My determination as a kid drove me to study hard and not just finish my work first before anyone else, but to prove to myself that I can finish first and finish it in an excellent way. Having this determination as child has shown me at a young age that if you want something, you can get if you work for it.

In my present self, I notice that somewhere along the way I have lost some confidence. Although looks do not matter it is healthy to love yourself, from the inside out. Although I am struggling through that low self-confidence, I am not letting that get to me. I may see a few flaws but I also see more good things about myself that makes me feel way better. Like my past, my determination is keeping me going. Although everything seems tough right now, I am not letting myself give up and I am continuing to prove to myself that this phase in my life is not impossible. Without my past self, I would never have the determination to keep pushing through like I have today.

As I look at my future self I see that the determination I have carried with me throughout my life has paid off. I made my goals and I am so excited about what I have succeeded. Although I have made my goals I still see my past and present selves, determination. I am still making myself goals in my career and am still determined to make a change in my students lives. As I reread this writing I see that I will never stop building goals for myself. Once I meet my goals I make new ones and I continuously make them more challenging.

Determination is a trait about myself that I am so proud to have. Having determination has and will help me in the past, present, and future. I will always be working hard on my goals and when I accomplish something, it feels so good to have gotten it. It was not just handed over to me, I worked hard for it and earned it. I want to end this project by thanking my past, present, and future selves for the trait of determination. I will always be working hard and will never give up when things get tough.

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Analytical: Who Am I?

I am looking in the mirror and I see a tall female. I have long red hair and green eyes. There are a lot of flaws that I notice. I see that I have some acne and I do not have the body of a model. I understand that people do not see what I see but there are some parts of myself that I recognize that I just do not care for. But I take a step back and realize that it does not matter who I am on the outside but more so who I am on the inside. So who am I? I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, and so much more. I am a determined, independent, and strong individual. If I start to struggle in things, I do not let those things beat me. I beat them by continuous hard work. I look in the mirror and I see someone who is stressed. University is hard work but I am a person that will power through and prove to myself that I can do this. I am competitive, not just with others but with myself. I set myself a goal and I try to go beyond that. I see some of these traits as overworking myself but I also feel like I am making myself stronger. I see that I am scared and stressed out. Leaving home and leaving a regular routine is very different and intimidating. The transition of high school and university is very stressful and quite different. I am making friends and have been passing my classes. I am beating this bump in the road and I am so proud of myself to be almost done my first year of university. I am a person who wants to make a difference in the world. Although I am not a teacher yet, I see a great teacher in myself. I am a kind and reasonable person. If a person needs help in any way, I am willing to help that person with whatever it may be. I am loyal. I respect a person’s privacy and I understand how it feels when something personal comes out to everyone and how sad it makes a person feel. When a person tells me a secret I always keep it to myself. It does not matter how personal or professional it is, I will make sure to respect their privacy and I will take their trusting in me with pride. I am aware of my flaws but I will not let that determine who I am as a person. I am proud of who I am and I am so excited to see myself grow and see everything that I like about myself heighten.

Progressive: A Look into my Future…

I am starting my new job, fresh out of university! I am a teacher at Raymore school, the school that I attended, as a student, five years ago. Now I am the homeroom teacher for the grade twelves and get to teach my favourite subject, math, this is all so surreal! It is a little odd having some of my teachers, back when I was a student, be my coworkers now. They are all so supportive and very welcoming. They are all congratulating me on making it to where I am today. This is going to be an amazing first year! The first day of school is a little more emotional than I thought it was going to be. All of my goals that I have set four years ago are coming true and I am so grateful for this opportunity. Butterflies form in my stomach as I make my way to my classroom. My first very own classroom… wow. I walk in with a smile, I notice some familiar faces from when I was a student here, and now I am their teacher. I wish them all good morning and they say it back. A few of the students recognize me and a few have no idea who I am at all. For the first few minutes I let them ask questions about me so they have a chance to get to know me better. I get to know the students as well, we exchange smiles and laughs. They start to smile more and sit up straighter, are they are starting to like me? My heart is beating so fast, I can feel the smile on my face and it will not leave my face. What an amazing first day, it still does not seem real. I cannot wait for the school year to go on so I can meet my expectations I have made for myself, as a teacher. I will build a professional relationship with all my students and build a trust with them so if my students every need a guidance for their lives, they will know they can come to me. I will teach them that anything is possible, as long as you work for it. Throughout my four years of university I never thought I would make it to this point and now here I am, in my own classroom getting ready to go home and start another wonderful school day. This new level of happiness that I have reached today is amazing and that is something I want for all of my students.

Regressive: Looking Into My Past…

There is a “smart kid” in my grade. In my grade three class we have to do one hundred multiplication questions in one minute once a week. The smart boy in my class is always done first and I want to change that. I’m going to be done today’s multiplication sheet first. My grade three teacher, Mrs. Moldowan, has this little talking speaker. Through the speaker I hear a female voice count down, “three, two, one, GO!”. Once I hear “GO” I start to do the multiplication questions. Last night I made sure I knew every multiplication question without having to think about it, before I went to bed. It will pay off. I hear the speaker beeping with every ten seconds that go by. I’m writing so fast that I can’t feel my arm, it’s like jello. The sound of my pencil writing on the paper sounds louder than usual. Not only am I feeling my heart pounding but I’m hearing it too. I’m almost done! I have a few rows to go. The teacher’s assistant is near him. He must be almost done but so am I!! One more… done!! I quickly flip my paper over to show that I’m done. I make it a little more dramatic than necessary just so the teacher’s assistant hears my paper being flipped over. She looks over at me with shock but smiles at me. Seconds later he flips his paper over but the teacher’s assistant is already walking towards me. She picks up my paper, “I was ready for him to be done first” she tells me. I can tell Mrs. Moldowan is shocked but the smile that I am seeing tells me that she knows how hard I worked to accomplish this. I feel my heart beat slowing down and I calm my breathing. The boy turns around and smiles at me and I smile back.